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January 10, 2010
Do Not Kill
by Bob Tschannen-Moran

Laser Provision

I am old enough to have caught the tail end of the Vietnam War, during which time I felt called to register for the draft as a conscientious objector. I was willing to serve, I was just not willing to kill. Since that time, I have spent a lifetime trying to figure out how best to live my life so as to do no harm. It's not always easy and it's not always clear how best to do that. Especially in the face of violent threats such as those that make the headlines on a daily basis. Killing is all too common in our world, and it has only gotten worse with the advent of modern weaponry and destructive devices. For all their complexity, however, I am glad to live with the questions and I hope this Provision invites you into the conversation, at least for a time.

LifeTrek Provision

Happy New Year! We're back with a full-fledged Provision this week in our continuing series on Guidelines for Living. This started, you may remember, by my review of various lists of "Ten Commandments" that come down to us from different religions, time periods, and cultures. The notion that we should avoid killing runs through them all, but it's interesting to note the nuances that come through with each of the different formulations. Here they are, one right after another:

Can't you just see the authors and translators trying to create some wiggle room around such a basic injunction as, "Do not kill"? The complexities of life come through in these different formulations. Let's consider each in turn.

In his delightful book, The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology, Jack Kornfield writes, "Compassion is not foolish. It doesn't just go along with what others want so they don't feel bad. There is a yes in compassion, and there is also a no, said with the same courage of heart. No to abuse, no to racism, no to violence, both personal and worldwide. The no is said not out of hate but out of unwavering care. Wherever it is practiced, compassion brings us back to life."

This is what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was talking about when he exhorted us to, "Never succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter. As you press for justice, be sure to move with dignity and discipline, using only the instruments of love."

In other words, the admonition "Do Not Kill" does not call us to be a meek and mild pushover in the face of violence and death. Marshall Rosenberg himself distinguishes between the protective use of force, in which he sees value, and the punitive use of force, which he argues against because of the ways it aggravates the spiral of violence. "Do Not Kill" rather calls us to be a strong and courageous catalyst for justice and nonviolent change. When we come to embody these values in our life and work, that's when life becomes more wonderful for one and all.

Coaching Inquiries: How do you make sense of the guideline to avoid killing? Do you avoid killing at all costs? What exceptions, if any, do you make? How can you become more peaceable in your relations with others and with yourself?

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LifeTrek Readers' Forum
(selected feedback from the past week)

Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, use the Mobile Feedback Form.


Your poem and Provision, Seeing You, is well said. I really enjoyed it and shared it with my wife. Wishing you and your family all the best in 2010.

"Seeing You" is such a beautiful, meaningful poem. It calls for more than just one reading.

I also enjoyed the movie Avatar and your poem "Seeing you" is not only beautiful but certainly my wish for 2010 for humanity. Thank you for another wonderful year that caused me to think and rethink my thoughts and therefore my actions.

Love it - I see you! Top

May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.

Bob Tschannen-Moran

President, LifeTrek Coaching International, www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation, www.SchoolTransformation.com
2010 President, International Association of Coaching, www.CertifiedCoach.org

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