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August 29, 2010
LifeTrek Readers' Forum
(selected feedback
from the
past few weeks)
Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections
from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek
Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek
Coaching International. To submit your comment,
use the Mobile Feedback Form.
I just read your
latest Provision,
Feelings
Matter. Effective communication is a skill/art in which I have long known I
had considerable room for growth. Three ex-wives can't all be wrong! While
discussing a recent, difficult communication with a friend they said, "Sometimes being
able to lose is actually winning."
While this indeed profound in an "I Chingy" sort of way, it seems to me that
true communication is not about wrong or right, win or lose, but about
ultimately furthering your established goals; accomplishing the mission so to
speak. If an individual chooses to view every interaction as an intellectual
mine is bigger than yours contest, or a chance to hone their bullying skills,
all involved have lost before they have even begun and a very real opportunity
to truly connect with someone has been missed.
I just read your new book,
Evocative
Coaching, and I absolutely love it. I have recommended it already to
multiple people; I will be recommending it to our entire community. Very
sincerely, it is the best book on coaching I have ever read. It just blows me
away. I learned so much. You and Megan did a phenomenal job explaining the true
heart, and empathy, and what it takes to be a great coach. It is unequivocally
the best coaching book I have ever read. Way to go.
Thanks so much for your continuing inspiration and hard work. We received
our copy of
Evocative
Coaching in the mail and I've just begun reading – savoring
and enjoying the way your coaching fits so effectively with our efforts at Asset
Based Community Development. Looking forward to learning more.
I am delighted to see that your book on coaching in schools has come out.
Congratulations. I looked at the table of contents and am now anxious to buy a
copy. I have begun coaching teachers in my area and will appreciate the wisdom
that you and Megan share through your new release. Thanks.
Your new book has been on my wish list here in Australia, and I have already
recommended it to all of my friends in the education sector in the US and
elsewhere. Now that I have received my own copy, just flipping through for the
first time, it is clear that you and Megan have created a gift for the world
that is dense with practical wisdom. I so look forward to immersing myself in
this wonderful resource; it will be a valued addition to my professional
library.
Although I can only follow your progress from afar, I am very excited by the
work you are doing with the Center for School Transformation. Keep the
conversation going! Top
I am really enjoying
your book on coaching in schools. It is so comprehensive and thorough that I
think I'm going to have to read it twice. Maybe three times! Thanks for all your
good work.
Your last
Provision, Entertainment Matters, was great. It really gives one pause, given what
happens at work today. Thanks for raising and focusing the topic.
Thanks for the reminder that vacations are so valuable. My latest one was a week in Gettysburg,
learning about the Civil War, with 300 others. Will be back next year for the
same conference. Wonderful people, superb program and speakers, good food, who
could ask for more?
I received your book
today and it is as beautiful "in person" as on the website. You must be so
proud. It really is rich and (seemingly) all encompassing. You guys are going to
rock the education world. Congratulations, once again! I look forward to diving
into it.
Discovering your book through the Center for School
Transformation was a joy. I was teaching on Friday .. a day of casual relief
teaching at a local school where I myself used to teach many years ago. So long
ago in fact, that some of the students there are the sons and daughters of
students who also attended the school and whom I once taught. :) It is a
small, community school of only 130 or so students from Prep to Year 12 (5 years
old to 18).
Some of the practices and structures have changed there over the years, as state
curriculum requirements have been changed etc. But it remains a school where it
is (for me) a joy to spend some time, if they need a relief teacher for the day.
The school is run along truly democratic lines, with students, parents and
teachers as equal partners. There is a whole school meeting every morning that
is chaired and minuted by the students -- even the littlies take their turn,
though usually with an older 'buddy' to write the minutes. :) And there is none
of the 'us versus them' nonsense that takes place in other mainstream high
schools.
Anyway, suffice to say it is the one high school environment in which I am happy
spending time. I have done relief teaching from time to time in other schools,
but find it too stressful to see that in many cases nothing much has changed in
classroom practice in the 30 years since I began my own teaching career! Your
book could not be coming along at a better time. Thanks.
I am so thrilled
to be reading about the success of your book and your new work through the
Center for School Transformation.
I have been a big fan of both you and Megan for many years, so I am rooting for
more people to discover and benefit from your work. I'll be sure to spread the
word. Congratulations!
We tried Kate's grilled corn on the cob recipe and it was DE-licious. Thanks, Kate!
This Sunday's
edition of Provision,
Openness
Matters, was particularly special to me. Hard to describe the impact in
words. Tomorrow I begin a brief session at a conference with individuals who
will be "coaching" leaders of low-achieving schools. This is an ongoing process
and I have referred your Center to the folks who are facilitating it. Hope they
follow through!
Thank you very much
for the two articles in this week's Provision. The first one on openness and
building trust is most timely, and I really appreciate the practical suggestions
on building in mindfulness. During some recent difficult times I was definitely
open, but not very mindful, and the lessons from that experience are ones I need
to take with me into the future.
I also really liked Kate's contribution regarding neighbourhoods and a sense of
community. I have been feeling a bit of a gap and this article invites me to
consider ways to explore that gap. It encourages me to join a community walking
club to which I've been invited, so I thank you for that encouragement.
Thank you again for your thoughtfulness and openness in sharing these
contributions. They are such a welcome start to Sundays and the week.
Congratulations again on your book. Can't wait to read it! I think that my partner and I can
apply some or all of the concepts to our marriage relationship. As in schools,
so in marriage: trust is the key.
I read with
interest your story about officiating at Luke's and Janina's
wedding on the
beach in Germany. As the one embodying the authority to seal and bond two
people together, I hope you were enlightened and touched their hearts. My
mother's second husband was a minister and a gifted speaker who held a deep
passion for what he did. He could come home after a church service bathing in
sweat. Preaching while speaking to the heart is a top achievement. May you be
fit and inspired.
Thank you deeply
for today's Provision,
Curiosity
Matters; love it, laugh about it, and share it.
I celebrated my birthday yesterday and reflected on who I am, what I stand for, and
what I would like to do. Upon writing all those questions down, confirmed once
more that my central essence is ... curiosity! That's what has brought me to
working and living in Bogotá, New York, and Taipei and who knows where else. I
share moreover an intricate curiosity on what inspires people.
I also share the curiosity about Amsterdam the city I lived close by before
embarking on rooting up. What will have changed in the 12 years I am away?
Still, even more curious, if I could drive "eyes closed" to Osnabrück where I
passed time deliciously, did business on occasions and where I enjoyed one of my
most interesting university excursions, what would I find? I wondered immediately how one of the
hosts would be who spoke actively and fluently 18 languages and understood
another dozen -- talking of curiosity! I started a search on the Internet to find
him.
Enjoy the German language and test from time to time how fluid you still are. When
it comes to enjoying the world cup soccer on German radio and TV I still do
well. You reignited my curiosity about the Enneagram and started learning about
it.
Still, your Provision most struck a cord with me as I am writing a book on
powerful questions in coaching. That requires a curious mind. And asking can
bring us further than answers alone can. What's more: I am investigating what
happens if we reach for the right answers without asking the right questions.
Thank you for the inspiration, gute Reise für Megan und dich und eine glückliche
und frohe Hochzeit für das Ehepaar.
I loved your
Provision this week on Creativity.
It complements the book I'm reading right now by Ken Robinson "The Element."
Here is a link to Robinson's TED Talk on how
schools kill creativity. I'm
curious to know your thoughts and feelings about this. (Ed. Note: Love it!)
Thanks for your Provision on creativity using Apollo 13 as an example. Too often people view
science as the opposite of creative when in fact science at its best is all
about creativity and thinking outside of the box.
I work in the pharmaceutical industry in Switzerland. I am wondering if you would give me
permission to share your latest Provision,
Creativity
Matters, with the Directors who report to me? I would of course give full
credit for to you. (Ed. Note: Permission granted! Let me know their response.)
You probably already saw this, but your Provision,
Constraints
Matter, was used as the basis for David Emerald's blog:
http://powerofted.com/blog/?p=501.
In her essay,
The Coach's
Kitchen, Kate asked, "Are you willing to live in the moment, appreciate what
is good, and let go of the rest?" What a powerful question! It really brings it
home that how we feel is ultimately a choice. How powerful we each are!
Thank you for this Provision and for all of them. Indeed, thank you for your
work! I first "met" you during my Wellcoaches training a couple of years back
and your energy stayed with me. I was glad to discover this series. I had no
idea it'd be the training that kept on giving!Thanks for this day’s Provisions,
Constraints
Matter. It was good and helpful, and, as usual, well written. These don’t
come easy I know and I thank you for the thinking and reading you put into
these.
This lesson struck
me from your last Provision: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living
someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the
results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions
drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to
become. Everything else is secondary." In other words, Live your own life!!
Top
Very much enjoyed reading your
Provision on
persistence this morning. Very well done and very motivating. As always,
thanks so much.
What a great Provision today. Thanks!
Just read your Provision on
Rituals. It's kind of refreshing to do rituals...the project consulting
services of a downfall company needs them, if they are going to pull in the
great lessons they should have learned along the way.
I have been
reading Bob's Sunday newsletter for over a year and have always found it
inspirational. No, as I turn 60, you are inspiring me to get a coach so that I can
start living the life that I want. Thanks for the inspiration!
I love the
Provisions and had time this week to really sit back and read without feeling
rushed. Thanks so much for the care that you put into these weekly messages.
Beautiful.
Thank you so much for your weekly newsletter!!
I appreciated your Tweet endorsing the Friedman editorial,
Malia for
President. Our oil addiction can be categorized as pure greed. How many wars
must be fought and how many American kids must die so that we and the other
developed nations can have access to cheap oil? If we continue on our current
path, we will pollute all of our oceans, destroy our wetlands, and ruin our
atmosphere. The tree huggers have been right all along!! In fact, continuing our
dependence on oil could eventually end in a nuclear conflagration. The Chinese
need oil to fuel their economy, which helps to feed their overpopulated country.
If oil becomes scarce, they will not hesitate to do everything in their power to
get that oil.
I work with college students who have done studies on existing alternative forms
of energy. Why are they not in massive use today? Because, companies have deemed
that to invest in them would take too long to fully recoup their investments.
What will it take for the world to smarten up and realize that we are not only
polluting our earth, but we allow only a small geographical area of the earth to
control the economy and politics of the rest of the world?
Thanks for
today's Provision,
Priorities
Matter. Now look what you have started! I will be on this all night.
I have been
overwhelmed by your writing over the last number of months. It has been very
encouraging and will continue to be. I am in the process of completing my
Masters in Leadership and Pastoral Care in All Hallows College, Dublin, Ireland.
And I have been gob smacked to open your Provisions as I have been going along
with my studies over the last number of months.
Sometimes when I open your email and read through what I refer to as your
reflections on life, I feel God is acting through you. I feel a little bit
embarrassed writing all this, but at this stage I feel I know you. Just sitting
here for a couple of minutes there is something inside me in my gut that tells
me I have freed myself up this morning another little bit by writing this email.
Thank you for taking time out to read my email.
Thanks for today's Provision.
Ideas Matter.
I turned to you for inspiration because I had to miss church, and am I glad I
did! You've given me lots of good ideas on how to conduct an upcoming retreat
for my senior staff. After reading this Provision, I think I'll use some AI
techniques to get their ideas flowing. Do you have other past Provisions that
might address AI methods for conducting such gatherings? (Ed. Note: See my
series on
Appreciative Inquiry from 2005.)
I very much enjoy
reading Provisions every Sunday morning, and am learning a lot. Thank you for
that.
I loved your
Provision on
Inspired Leadership. It was a great reminder that we need to water the
garden of our own passion if we hope to get others to join us in our projects. I
also enjoyed the analogy you invited us to consider between mindful eating and
mindful leading. Walking 100 steps after each act of leadership might help us
digest the input we've heard from others and keep us grounded!
Another perfect provision at the perfect time in just the perfect way :) My favorite sentence,
"For all the go-go-go of leadership, there is a quiet side to the task that is
often overlooked and underestimated."
I am amused by the connection between the number of your
last Provision
(666, the number of the Antichrist) and it's topic -- Rituals. Jokingly, I
enquire "Just what kind of rituals are you suggesting here?" Hopefully not
Satanic ones, as indicated by the number. (Ed. Note: Coincidence noted! But it
was happenstance and, fortunately, all the rituals were healthy -- some might
even say holy. I hope you enjoyed the practices.)
I really
appreciate you reminding us of Megan's work on trust in your last
Provision.
Relationships really do matter. Yeah Megan! Keep loving Bob.
You bet relationships matter. This is our 57th anniversary. Love to both you and
your wife.
Quote of the day at the Boston Marathon: "I probably should consider this my last
marathon, but you never know what’ll happen. My friends reminded me that I said that
last year and the year before and the year before ... I run with people all younger
than me and they tell me I inspire them. That’s gratification for somebody my age."
Robert Borglund, 80, of Fort Myers, Fla., who won the men’s 80-plus age group at
the Boston Marathon in 2009.
I am loving this
Provision series on leadership. My strengths and limitations along with my
coworkers' are becoming clear. You continue to open me up to new possibilities
along this trek called life. I appreciate having this bit of you in my life each
week. Thank you!
The meditation that comes to mind given the topic of your last Provision,
Results Matter,
is to add to the clear and in-depth visualization of one’s desired outcome,
(which I suggest as a meditation or guided imagery process), “this….or something
better.” This cultivates openness both to the many ways that you can move
forward to achieve the desired end, but also to stay open to new and better ends
as well.
Just read your
Provision for this week and just re-read last week's. The timing is uncanny! As
I have been aware that I have lost hope and focus. Although I am not certain I
would have been able to label it so specifically if not for your provisions. So
thank you!!!
I just finished watching your
YouTube videos. Kudos to
you! One of my favorite segments from the Evocative Coaching video was about the
student who was disappointed when she could not find any advice to give the
teacher that she was coaching. Nothing was "wrong". I found myself remembering
how confused I was when I was first exposed to the idea that focusing on
strengths was more useful than focusing on problems. I kept thinking, "Yeah, but
what if you're so busy focusing on strengths that you forget to attend to a
problem and disaster ensues" ? I am not sure when I made the shift, but now it
is second nature for me to be asking myself (and others) "What is the best,
cleverest, most fun thing that can happen here?"
Another comment that stayed with me from the video was the concept of the
"Golden Sigh." That moment when we realize we can set our burden down. I know it
well, and I love it.
In watching your
YouTube videos I
especially identified with your distinction of request versus demands. It
parallel's something that my fiancé and I have been learning about and
discussing within the boundaries of our relationship in consideration of the
successes and failures of our pasts. We have been discussing the concept of
dreams versus expectations. That so often prior to marriage we have so many
dreams and then once you tie the knot those dreams no longer are dreams but
become expectations.
Then, when expectations fail to be met suddenly there is disappointment which
results in dissatisfaction. If you don't have good communication skills,
listening skills, and resolution strategies this dissatisfaction then grows into
a small fire which may smolder but can then become more intense if fueled by
increasing disappointment. The best thing that I have learned in my years of
successes and failures is that "listening" is the best part of the story because
you take the time to really listen so that you can practice empathy, experience
inquiry and creatively design direction.
I own a restaurant and manage about 20 people. My hardest
workers with the most influence on the others need to be developed more, however
one of them does not have the best people skills. She is my choice because she
is dedicated to the restaurant and the guests love her, but not all of the
employees like her a lot. She has a small circle of friends and generally goes
for the hard working types. My husband is the same type of leader. Do your job.
It seems impossible to staff an all perfect staff but we do try to use
personality charts to place employees in successful positions. What you have
said in your newsletters appeals to me more than hard core managing or do I need
to be stronger? (Ed. Note: Leadership is a dance between tasks and
relationships. Let's talk.)
Just wanted to say congratulations on your new program and the
success you are having. I listened to the interview on
Blog Talk Radio with Mary. Having worked in the schools as a student and
then professional for nearly a decade and then being a parent (and of a son
with special needs), I am pleased to see your efforts moving forward! My
sister-in-law works in a fairly progressive district in TX and told me they
had a lot of "coaches" . I'll have to share your work with her. I'm sure my
coaching skills would have come in handy when I worked with resistant
teachers way back when. I was a special education resource teacher, working
with teachers to mainstream children into their classroom to be successful.
:-)
Just saw your new picture on
Plaxo. What a
great photo! It really captures your spirit. I'm now in Baghdad for my
second trip, where I'm coaching the leadership team of the Zain telecom
company here. Fascinating culture and, as you can imagine, incredibly
challenging conditions. Wonderful people. Eager learners. Looking forward to
working with the team together as the next step. Real mix of nationalities
in the leadership team including an Iraqi CEO who is as much Texan as Iraqi,
having spent much of his life there and has now returned to help rebuild
Iraq. Definitely an adventure!
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Bob Tschannen-Moran
President, LifeTrek Coaching International,
www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation,
www.SchoolTransformation.com
2010 President, International Association of Coaching,
www.CertifiedCoach.org
Address: 121 Will Scarlet Lane, Williamsburg, VA 23185-5043
Phone: (757) 345-3452
Fax: (772) 382-3258
Skype: LifeTrek
Twitter: @LifeTrekBob
Mobile: www.LifeTrekMobile.com
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