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August 29, 2010
LifeTrek Readers' Forum
(selected feedback
from the past few weeks)

Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, use the Mobile Feedback Form.
 
I just read your latest Provision, Feelings Matter. Effective communication is a skill/art in which I have long known I had considerable room for growth. Three ex-wives can't all be wrong! While discussing a recent, difficult communication with a friend they said, "Sometimes being able to lose is actually winning."

While this indeed profound in an "I Chingy" sort of way, it seems to me that true communication is not about wrong or right, win or lose, but about ultimately furthering your established goals; accomplishing the mission so to speak. If an individual chooses to view every interaction as an intellectual mine is bigger than yours contest, or a chance to hone their bullying skills, all involved have lost before they have even begun and a very real opportunity to truly connect with someone has been missed.

I just read your new book, Evocative Coaching, and I absolutely love it. I have recommended it already to multiple people; I will be recommending it to our entire community. Very sincerely, it is the best book on coaching I have ever read. It just blows me away. I learned so much. You and Megan did a phenomenal job explaining the true heart, and empathy, and what it takes to be a great coach. It is unequivocally the best coaching book I have ever read. Way to go.

Thanks so much for your continuing inspiration and hard work. We received our copy of Evocative Coaching in the mail and I've just begun reading – savoring and enjoying the way your coaching fits so effectively with our efforts at Asset Based Community Development. Looking forward to learning more.

I am delighted to see that your book on coaching in schools has come out. Congratulations. I looked at the table of contents and am now anxious to buy a copy. I have begun coaching teachers in my area and will appreciate the wisdom that you and Megan share through your new release. Thanks.

Your new book has been on my wish list here in Australia, and I have already recommended it to all of my friends in the education sector in the US and elsewhere. Now that I have received my own copy, just flipping through for the first time, it is clear that you and Megan have created a gift for the world that is dense with practical wisdom. I so look forward to immersing myself in this wonderful resource; it will be a valued addition to my professional library.

Although I can only follow your progress from afar, I am very excited by the work you are doing with the Center for School Transformation. Keep the conversation going! Top
I am really enjoying your book on coaching in schools. It is so comprehensive and thorough that I think I'm going to have to read it twice. Maybe three times! Thanks for all your good work.
Your last Provision, Entertainment Matters, was great. It really gives one pause, given what happens at work today. Thanks for raising and focusing the topic.
Thanks for the reminder that vacations are so valuable. My latest one was a week in Gettysburg, learning about the Civil War, with 300 others. Will be back next year for the same conference. Wonderful people, superb program and speakers, good food, who could ask for more?

I received your book today and it is as beautiful "in person" as on the website. You must be so proud. It really is rich and (seemingly) all encompassing. You guys are going to rock the education world. Congratulations, once again! I look forward to diving into it.

Discovering your book through the Center for School Transformation was a joy. I was teaching on Friday .. a day of casual relief teaching at a local school where I myself used to teach many years ago. So long ago in fact, that some of the students there are the sons and daughters of students who also attended the school and whom I once taught. :) It is a small, community school of only 130 or so students from Prep to Year 12 (5 years old to 18).

Some of the practices and structures have changed there over the years, as state curriculum requirements have been changed etc. But it remains a school where it is (for me) a joy to spend some time, if they need a relief teacher for the day.
 
The school is run along truly democratic lines, with students, parents and teachers as equal partners. There is a whole school meeting every morning that is chaired and minuted by the students -- even the littlies take their turn, though usually with an older 'buddy' to write the minutes. :) And there is none of the 'us versus them' nonsense that takes place in other mainstream high schools.

Anyway, suffice to say it is the one high school environment in which I am happy spending time. I have done relief teaching from time to time in other schools, but find it too stressful to see that in many cases nothing much has changed in classroom practice in the 30 years since I began my own teaching career! Your book could not be coming along at a better time. Thanks.
I am so thrilled to be reading about the success of your book and your new work through the Center for School Transformation. I have been a big fan of both you and Megan for many years, so I am rooting for more people to discover and benefit from your work. I'll be sure to spread the word. Congratulations!


We tried Kate's grilled corn on the cob recipe and it was DE-licious. Thanks, Kate!
This Sunday's edition of Provision, Openness Matters, was particularly special to me. Hard to describe the impact in words. Tomorrow I begin a brief session at a conference with individuals who will be "coaching" leaders of low-achieving schools. This is an ongoing process and I have referred your Center to the folks who are facilitating it. Hope they follow through!

Thank you very much for the two articles in this week's Provision. The first one on openness and building trust is most timely, and I really appreciate the practical suggestions on building in mindfulness. During some recent difficult times I was definitely open, but not very mindful, and the lessons from that experience are ones I need to take with me into the future.

I also really liked Kate's contribution regarding neighbourhoods and a sense of community. I have been feeling a bit of a gap and this article invites me to consider ways to explore that gap. It encourages me to join a community walking club to which I've been invited, so I thank you for that encouragement.

Thank you again for your thoughtfulness and openness in sharing these contributions. They are such a welcome start to Sundays and the week.

Congratulations again on your book. Can't wait to read it! I think that my partner and I can apply some or all of the concepts to our marriage relationship. As in schools, so in marriage: trust is the key.
I read with interest your story about officiating at Luke's and Janina's wedding on the beach in Germany. As the one embodying the authority to seal and bond two people together, I hope you were enlightened and touched their hearts. My mother's second husband was a minister and a gifted speaker who held a deep passion for what he did. He could come home after a church service bathing in sweat. Preaching while speaking to the heart is a top achievement. May you be fit and inspired.
Thank you deeply for today's Provision, Curiosity Matters; love it, laugh about it, and share it.

I celebrated my birthday yesterday and reflected on who I am, what I stand for, and what I would like to do. Upon writing all those questions down, confirmed once more that my central essence is ... curiosity! That's what has brought me to working and living in Bogotá, New York, and Taipei and who knows where else. I share moreover an intricate curiosity on what inspires people.

I also share the curiosity about Amsterdam the city I lived close by before embarking on rooting up. What will have changed in the 12 years I am away? Still, even more curious, if I could drive "eyes closed" to Osnabrück where I passed time deliciously, did business on occasions and where I enjoyed one of my most interesting university excursions, what would I find? I wondered immediately how one of the hosts would be who spoke actively and fluently 18 languages and understood another dozen -- talking of curiosity! I started a search on the Internet to find him.

Enjoy the German language and test from time to time how fluid you still are. When it comes to enjoying the world cup soccer on German radio and TV I still do well. You reignited my curiosity about the Enneagram and started learning about it.

Still, your Provision most struck a cord with me as I am writing a book on powerful questions in coaching. That requires a curious mind. And asking can bring us further than answers alone can. What's more: I am investigating what happens if we reach for the right answers without asking the right questions. Thank you for the inspiration, gute Reise für Megan und dich und eine glückliche und frohe Hochzeit für das Ehepaar.
I loved your Provision this week on Creativity. It complements the book I'm reading right now by Ken Robinson "The Element." Here is a link to Robinson's TED Talk on how schools kill creativity. I'm curious to know your thoughts and feelings about this. (Ed. Note: Love it!)

Thanks for your Provision on creativity using Apollo 13 as an example. Too often people view science as the opposite of creative when in fact science at its best is all about creativity and thinking outside of the box.

I work in the pharmaceutical industry in Switzerland. I am wondering if you would give me permission to share your latest Provision, Creativity Matters, with the Directors who report to me? I would of course give full credit for to you. (Ed. Note: Permission granted! Let me know their response.)

You probably already saw this, but your Provision, Constraints Matter, was used as the basis for David Emerald's blog: http://powerofted.com/blog/?p=501.
In her essay, The Coach's Kitchen, Kate asked, "Are you willing to live in the moment, appreciate what is good, and let go of the rest?" What a powerful question! It really brings it home that how we feel is ultimately a choice. How powerful we each are!

Thank you for this Provision and for all of them. Indeed, thank you for your work! I first "met" you during my Wellcoaches training a couple of years back and your energy stayed with me. I was glad to discover this series. I had no idea it'd be the training that kept on giving!Thanks for this day’s Provisions, Constraints Matter. It was good and helpful, and, as usual, well written. These don’t come easy I know and I thank you for the thinking and reading you put into these.

This lesson struck me from your last Provision: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." In other words, Live your own life!! Top
Very much enjoyed reading your Provision on persistence this morning. Very well done and very motivating. As always, thanks so much.

What a great Provision today. Thanks!

Just read your Provision on Rituals. It's kind of refreshing to do rituals...the project consulting services of a downfall company needs them, if they are going to pull in the great lessons they should have learned along the way.
I have been reading Bob's Sunday newsletter for over a year and have always found it inspirational. No, as I turn 60, you are inspiring me to get a coach so that I can start living the life that I want. Thanks for the inspiration!

I love the Provisions and had time this week to really sit back and read without feeling rushed. Thanks so much for the care that you put into these weekly messages. Beautiful.

Thank you so much for your weekly newsletter!!

I appreciated your Tweet endorsing the Friedman editorial, Malia for President. Our oil addiction can be categorized as pure greed. How many wars must be fought and how many American kids must die so that we and the other developed nations can have access to cheap oil? If we continue on our current path, we will pollute all of our oceans, destroy our wetlands, and ruin our atmosphere. The tree huggers have been right all along!! In fact, continuing our dependence on oil could eventually end in a nuclear conflagration. The Chinese need oil to fuel their economy, which helps to feed their overpopulated country. If oil becomes scarce, they will not hesitate to do everything in their power to get that oil.

I work with college students who have done studies on existing alternative forms of energy. Why are they not in massive use today? Because, companies have deemed that to invest in them would take too long to fully recoup their investments.

What will it take for the world to smarten up and realize that we are not only polluting our earth, but we allow only a small geographical area of the earth to control the economy and politics of the rest of the world?
Thanks for today's Provision, Priorities Matter. Now look what you have started! I will be on this all night.
I have been overwhelmed by your writing over the last number of months. It has been very encouraging and will continue to be. I am in the process of completing my Masters in Leadership and Pastoral Care in All Hallows College, Dublin, Ireland. And I have been gob smacked to open your Provisions as I have been going along with my studies over the last number of months.

Sometimes when I open your email and read through what I refer to as your reflections on life, I feel God is acting through you. I feel a little bit embarrassed writing all this, but at this stage I feel I know you. Just sitting here for a couple of minutes there is something inside me in my gut that tells me I have freed myself up this morning another little bit by writing this email. Thank you for taking time out to read my email.
Thanks for today's Provision. Ideas Matter. I turned to you for inspiration because I had to miss church, and am I glad I did! You've given me lots of good ideas on how to conduct an upcoming retreat for my senior staff. After reading this Provision, I think I'll use some AI techniques to get their ideas flowing. Do you have other past Provisions that might address AI methods for conducting such gatherings? (Ed. Note: See my series on Appreciative Inquiry from 2005.)

I very much enjoy reading Provisions every Sunday morning, and am learning a lot. Thank you for that.
I loved your Provision on Inspired Leadership. It was a great reminder that we need to water the garden of our own passion if we hope to get others to join us in our projects. I also enjoyed the analogy you invited us to consider between mindful eating and mindful leading. Walking 100 steps after each act of leadership might help us digest the input we've heard from others and keep us grounded!

Another perfect provision at the perfect time in just the perfect way :) My favorite sentence, "For all the go-go-go of leadership, there is a quiet side to the task that is often overlooked and underestimated."
I am amused by the connection between the number of your last Provision (666, the number of the Antichrist) and it's topic -- Rituals. Jokingly, I enquire "Just what kind of rituals are you suggesting here?" Hopefully not Satanic ones, as indicated by the number. (Ed. Note: Coincidence noted! But it was happenstance and, fortunately, all the rituals were healthy -- some might even say holy. I hope you enjoyed the practices.)
I really appreciate you reminding us of Megan's work on trust in your last Provision. Relationships really do matter. Yeah Megan! Keep loving Bob.

You bet relationships matter. This is our 57th anniversary. Love to both you and your wife.

Quote of the day at the Boston Marathon: "I probably should consider this my last marathon, but you never know what’ll happen. My friends reminded me that I said that last year and the year before and the year before ... I run with people all younger than me and they tell me I inspire them. That’s gratification for somebody my age." Robert Borglund, 80, of Fort Myers, Fla., who won the men’s 80-plus age group at the Boston Marathon in 2009.
I am loving this Provision series on leadership. My strengths and limitations along with my coworkers' are becoming clear. You continue to open me up to new possibilities along this trek called life. I appreciate having this bit of you in my life each week. Thank you!

The meditation that comes to mind given the topic of your last Provision, Results Matter, is to add to the clear and in-depth visualization of one’s desired outcome, (which I suggest as a meditation or guided imagery process), “this….or something better.” This cultivates openness both to the many ways that you can move forward to achieve the desired end, but also to stay open to new and better ends as well.
Just read your Provision for this week and just re-read last week's. The timing is uncanny! As I have been aware that I have lost hope and focus. Although I am not certain I would have been able to label it so specifically if not for your provisions. So thank you!!!
I just finished watching your YouTube videos. Kudos to you! One of my favorite segments from the Evocative Coaching video was about the student who was disappointed when she could not find any advice to give the teacher that she was coaching. Nothing was "wrong". I found myself remembering how confused I was when I was first exposed to the idea that focusing on strengths was more useful than focusing on problems. I kept thinking, "Yeah, but what if you're so busy focusing on strengths that you forget to attend to a problem and disaster ensues" ? I am not sure when I made the shift, but now it is second nature for me to be asking myself (and others) "What is the best, cleverest, most fun thing that can happen here?"

Another comment that stayed with me from the video was the concept of the "Golden Sigh." That moment when we realize we can set our burden down. I know it well, and I love it.

In watching your YouTube videos I especially identified with your distinction of request versus demands. It parallel's something that my fiancé and I have been learning about and discussing within the boundaries of our relationship in consideration of the successes and failures of our pasts. We have been discussing the concept of dreams versus expectations. That so often prior to marriage we have so many dreams and then once you tie the knot those dreams no longer are dreams but become expectations.

Then, when expectations fail to be met suddenly there is disappointment which results in dissatisfaction. If you don't have good communication skills, listening skills, and resolution strategies this dissatisfaction then grows into a small fire which may smolder but can then become more intense if fueled by increasing disappointment. The best thing that I have learned in my years of successes and failures is that "listening" is the best part of the story because you take the time to really listen so that you can practice empathy, experience inquiry and creatively design direction.
I own a restaurant and manage about 20 people. My hardest workers with the most influence on the others need to be developed more, however one of them does not have the best people skills. She is my choice because she is dedicated to the restaurant and the guests love her, but not all of the employees like her a lot. She has a small circle of friends and generally goes for the hard working types. My husband is the same type of leader. Do your job. It seems impossible to staff an all perfect staff but we do try to use personality charts to place employees in successful positions. What you have said in your newsletters appeals to me more than hard core managing or do I need to be stronger? (Ed. Note: Leadership is a dance between tasks and relationships. Let's talk.)
Just wanted to say congratulations on your new program and the success you are having. I listened to the interview on Blog Talk Radio with Mary. Having worked in the schools as a student and then professional for nearly a decade and then being a parent (and of a son with special needs), I am pleased to see your efforts moving forward! My sister-in-law works in a fairly progressive district in TX and told me they had a lot of "coaches" . I'll have to share your work with her. I'm sure my coaching skills would have come in handy when I worked with resistant teachers way back when. I was a special education resource teacher, working with teachers to mainstream children into their classroom to be successful. :-)

Just saw your new picture on Plaxo. What a great photo! It really captures your spirit. I'm now in Baghdad for my second trip, where I'm coaching the leadership team of the Zain telecom company here. Fascinating culture and, as you can imagine, incredibly challenging conditions. Wonderful people. Eager learners. Looking forward to working with the team together as the next step. Real mix of nationalities in the leadership team including an Iraqi CEO who is as much Texan as Iraqi, having spent much of his life there and has now returned to help rebuild Iraq. Definitely an adventure!

May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.

Bob Tschannen-Moran

President, LifeTrek Coaching International, www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation, www.SchoolTransformation.com
2010 President, International Association of Coaching, www.CertifiedCoach.org

Address: 121 Will Scarlet Lane, Williamsburg, VA 23185-5043
Phone: (757) 345-3452
Fax: (772) 382-3258
Skype: LifeTrek
Twitter: @LifeTrekBob
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